Dear How to Do It: My friend won’t stop mentioning “John,” the ghost from the 1920s that she’s having sex with in quarantine.
How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column.I’m worried my friend actually believes she has been having sex with a ghost in quarantine. We went to college together but have lived on opposite coasts for close to a decade. I’m quarantining with my partner; she’s quarantining alone. Both our cities have been locked down since March.
I say “probably” because for as long as I’ve had an opinion on the matter, I have felt that things that cannot be proven by our scientific method must not exist, which is to say if ghosts were real, we’d have proof of it by now. But then just this week I started reading Michael Pollan’s,* which isn’t about ghosts at all but about the potentially mind-expanding properties of psychedelic drugs.
I’m not saying that she’s actually being visited by a ghost—I remain a nonbeliever, just slightly less fastidious than I was before—but I also haven’t been to her apartment. I think a conversation about her dubious claims is in order, and if she’s so convinced that she has not broken from reality, suggest that she provide proof.
Fast forward to the present, and I believe I’ve found the love of my life. We are happy, committed, and planning a future. The problem is, my ejaculation level has severely cut the spontaneity aspect of our love life, which is exciting and satisfying otherwise. We are monogamous, and she is on the pill, but my release leaves a giant sticky mess behind, no matter what activity we partake.
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