I’m so sorry her child died, but she can’t dictate my emotions.
She became angry at me for “stealing her grief away by making her child’s death something that belonged to me and not her.”
If you say, “I love the beach and can’t wait to go back,” she says, “ loved the beach; make sure you think of them while you are there.” Or, “Just because your child is dead doesn’t mean you get to decide how everyone else feels!” But, like, nice. Not aggressive.Grief competition is an unseemly and fruitless enterprise. Miss Manners supposes that its so-called winners take comfort in their singular despair — but what a miserable and lonely prize that is.
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