Dear Abby advises someone who feels neglected by their friends, and a woman who’s sick of her neighbors always borrowing her family’s things.
What is your definition of a “friend”? I rarely, if ever, hear from friends I’ve had my entire life. And when I do, it’s usually in response to a contact I have initiated. My late mother felt that as long as you have someone you can count on in a stressful time, that’s a friend. I disagree. I think friends should make an effort to maintain contact and keep the relationship alive.
Wasn’t the primary attraction of things like email and social media that it would be easier to stay in touch with people? So I ask again, Abby. Objectively speaking, how do YOU define “friendship”? —Dear Abby: I can’t move on from my husband’s seven-year infidelityIt depends upon the individuals involved. Some people need constant contact. Others, particularly busy people, do not. Since you asked for my personal bias, I’ll tell you I agree with your mother.
It’s a year and a half later. They still borrow our mower, along with other items like a leaf blower or a weed whacker. They often go on weeklong or weekend trips to expensive places. While they’re gone, they sometimes ask my husband to mow their yard for them, which he does. They are always grateful. However, I’m to the point where enough is enough. It doesn’t feel neighborly anymore. It feels like we are being taken advantage of. How do we politely say, “You need to get your priorities straight. Quit going on trips and buy yourself a mower”? —In the interest of neighborhood harmony, refrain from giving this couple travel advice or directing them to straighten their priorities.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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