| Carolyn Hax: Should teen girl apologize to grandpa who slapped her?

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| Carolyn Hax: Should teen girl apologize to grandpa who slapped her?
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Grandpa slaps teen granddaughter for telling him to cook his own dinner, and it leaves a mark on the whole family.

My mother experienced complications and was in the hospital while my dad was staying with them, which was stressful and open-ended. It came to a head one morning over breakfast. Between work, my mother and the kids’ stuff, they didn’t have time to make dinner and eat it together, so my sister-in-law planned DoorDash. My father said my older niece, 15, should cook dinner when she gets home from school. My sister-in-law said she can’t because she has two school projects due the next day.

It is very obvious my father is experiencing a change in personality consistent with early-onset dementia. Here is my perspective check: I think my brother is overreacting. I think an apology from my niece to my father for smarting off would go a long way. I suggested this to my brother to smooth things over, and he refused it as an option. My siblings supported my brother.

This may seem weird, because it’s ignoring the elephant, plus we make sense of the world through talking about things, but nothing can make this situation worse faster than your rolling in with a “should” cannon. Especially demanding apologies. Egads.

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