I had a mission to do and lives to protect, so I couldn’t be distracted by such things.
That is why I believe I was able to be successful. I never looked around the room and thought to myself, “Oh no, I’m the only woman here – poor me.” Instead I thought, “I’m the only woman in the room – good job, me.” It’s all about mindset. And I saw opportunity everywhere I went. For example, I could easily work undercover because no one pegged me for an agent, where many of my colleagues could not. Being a woman gave me advantages others did not have, and I embraced them.
Also, I allow people to talk first to let them get out what they need too. Sometimes this takes five minutes, other times it takes 20 minutes. I don’t interrupt, finish their sentences, or correct them. Only after they are done do I enter the conversation. This allows the person to feel heard, and then they are able to truly listen to you, especially if they are emotional.
Fear can help you assess the pros and cons or the risks and rewards of a situation, but it cannot be the deciding factor of what you do. When your fear becomes pure emotion and all your logic and reason go out the window, that’s where the problems start. Anxiety makes a home in your head and panic sets in. This makes you lose your trust in yourself, and that’s dangerous.
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