Do we unconsciously judge or criticise new mothers and their babies? During a time of great stress and transition, some of our seemingly harmless comments may cut deeper than we think.
Some months back, a friend of mine gave birth to a baby girl. Now, my friend is an attractive woman, but as she puts it herself, her baby did not conform to conventional standards of beauty. Her newborn had very small eyes and a large nose.The thing is, as a society, we have a rather peculiar way of welcoming new babies. Visitors surrounded the infant as if she were an exhibit in a museum. After appraising her, each felt compelled to offer some praise or comment.
When the guests left, my friend broke down in tears. If she was more vulnerable than usual, you could hardly blame her. She is not alone. Many new mothers have shared how insensitive comments or unsolicited advice caught them unawares and affected them more than they expected. Many of them develop pimples all over their face as a result of maternal hormones circulating in their system after birth. Cradle cap is another common skin condition, where the baby’s head and eyebrows are covered with crusty and scaly patches. So it’s not your fault if you don’t find your friend’s baby adorable.
So when visiting a new mum, don’t expect to always be blown away by cuteness, and be mindful to filter your thoughts.
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