There are good reasons why our mate choices may not match our ideal preferences but we can still find ideal relationships.
This mismatch may be driven by unconscious or subconscious factors.A variety of research shows that our stated mate preferences and our actual mate choices often do not match one another .
Finally, “Each person must not only select their preferred mate, but also be selected by that mate.” Even if we manage to find a partner who embodies all of our ideal characteristics, that person has to also be romantically interested in us. Conroy-Beam, D., & Buss, D. M. . Do mate preferences influence actual mating decisions? Evidence from computer simulations and three studies of mated couples. Journal of personality and social psychology, 111, 53.
Fugère, M. A., Ciccarelli, N. C., & Cousins, A. J. . The importance of physical attractiveness and ambition/intelligence to the mate choices of women and their parents. Evolutionary Behavioral Sciences. DOI:10.1037/ebs0000325
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