“I want it to be understood that I’m not scorned. I’m not sad because I didn’t get him as a boyfriend.”
But while most public #MeToo allegations are related to potential crimes, many of the claims surfaced by Deuxmoi neither rise to the level of criminality nor become anything more than an uninvestigated Instagram blip. As one woman who said she was involved with David told me, “This is not a #metoo case, but it is a callout and condemnation for disrespect toward women.”
She suggested that they move to texting. But as soon as that started, she claimed, he began acting like a different person. “It felt very Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde.” He began asking for explicit pictures, she recalled, and she asked if he still had a girlfriend. According to her, he said he did but that she was OK with him having this sort of connection with other women. Madison said she declined to send photos but claimed that he kept trying to push their communications into a sexual realm.
Not all the women in the group shared negative comments about David. Jenny recalled that one person said she’d had “a pleasant experience” but was respectful of the others. “They were still very supportive of validating and listening to the ones that did have different experiences,” Jenny said. “Nobody was like, ‘Oh, well, that’s not what I had. He’s just a nice guy.’ It was like, ‘I’m so sorry that that happened.
Still, Pari said, the cultural conversation around #MeToo hasn’t caught up to the nuances of coercion, exploitation, and abuse. He said a person would be acting ethically if they explained that they were not interested in a relationship and acted accordingly. “But if he’s seriously dating and acting like there’s a deep relationship forming when there isn’t, then that’s abusive and coercive,” Pari said.
Jenny is aware that they could be dismissed as a group of women motivated by heartache and revenge. But they wanted to highlight the real-life experiences of unequal sexual relationships. “I want it to be understood that I’m not scorned. I’m not sad because I didn’t get him as a boyfriend,” she said.
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