Tired of people on her Facebook timeline dismissing racism and the protests, Pamela Chandler decided to outline what she and her husband deal with.
The couple live in the small town of West Carrollton, Ohio, with their toddler, Jasmine. Scrolling through Facebook that evening, Pamela, who’s white and whose husband is Black, was disheartened to see so many people misinterpreting the protests and what the“I jumped offline and started complaining to Walter that I was frustrated that so many people just didn’t get it,” she told HuffPost. “I grew up in a small town that leans conservative.
Pamela also wrote in the post about how her husband has to double-up on the friendliness wherever he goes, to put white people at ease: “My husband goes out of his way to be nice and talk to EVERYONE. Not because he’s a people person, but because he has learned that a 6’5 Black man intimidates people and so he overcompensates by being overly friendly so people won’t be afraid of him.
Walter’s lived experiences speak to that. One of the more sobering details from the list is how he has to stay by his daughter’s side while on the playground; otherwise, he gets stares and people wonder what the “big black man” is doing on the park bench. Walter, who moved to Ohio from New York City after meeting Pamela online — he retweeted one of her tweets and they ended up talking through DMs all night — is used to most of these experiences. It’s taken some getting used to for Pamela.
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