We're told to be more careful. That we are responsible for avoiding our own rape or murder.
• Carry keys between your fingers in case you need to use them as a weapon• Take a longer route to avoid badly lit or wooded areas• Switch to exercising indoors or give up exercise altogether after outdoor harassment• Wear a fake wedding ring• Always let someone know where you are going• Always text girl friends to let each other know you've got home safely• Watch your drink like a hawk and cover it with your hand• Change your clothing to avoid harassment• Don't wear headphones so...
That it is the result of growing up in a world in which you've learned, through experience, to fear for your safety pretty much all the time; a world that has socialised you to believe that the person responsible for fixing this frankly outrageous reality isou. Shocking to discover that you have been living in a fairly constant state of hypervigilance for so long that you have ceased even to recognise it as anything out of the ordinary.
For most men, the list is often shocking for a different reason. The realisation that they have rarely, if ever, thought about taking these measures. The shock of learning that the women they love and care about in their lives do all this and more on a day-to day basis.
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