'Yes, the men I fancy often don’t like me back, but the ones who do fancy me are weird.' Writer Annie Lord reflects on the difficulty of dating a nice guy.
A girl I made friends with in the smoking area told me she was going to set me up with someone, which sounded fun until I realized what she meant by that.
I drank the rum and Coke he bought me that I definitely didn’t need. Licked it off my knuckles when he spun me around under his arms. Watched as condensation rolled down the walls of the room so that other people’s sweat landed on strangers’ bodies, dropped into drinks. We kissed and our lips were so dry they caught on each other.
At first the comment annoys me. Yes, the men I fancy often don’t like me back, but the ones who do fancy me are weird. Like the one I was on a date with two nights ago who said he was thinking of moving from his parents’ house in Edmonton to Clapham “to try something different,” as ifoffers anything but a bland soup of ASOS blazers and rugby boys that you find in most places. All the men who are hot either have girlfriends or too many better options.
After getting over a series of one-sided relationships, Susan Sontag reminisces in a diary entry from 1968: “I always fell for the bullies—thinking: if they don’t find me so hot they must be great. Their rejection of me showed their superior qualities, their good taste.” She expands later on: “Of course, I don’t love myself. How can I, when the one person I ever trusted has rejected me—the person I made the arbiter, + the creator of my lovableness.
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