The splinters from the ‘crucifix' will go missing from the coronation and this will be blamed on Harry and Meghan, who have to make a 50-programme series on Netflix explaining how they were framed ✒️ mrmarksteel for ipaperviews
The whole country is gripped byEvery day there’s new information, such as “Andrew told he has to sit under the table in an Amazon delivery box”.
But the finest part of this entirely rational event has now been revealed. Apparently the Cross of Wales to be brought into the Abbey will include two splinters from the actual crucifix thatIf you were sceptical, you might wonder how anyone knows whether the splinters can be matched with such certainty.. There will be a special edition where Fiona Bruce tells them: “Our experts asked GOD in a prayer whether these were authentic.
The Pope has handed the splinters over. I expect he said: “But make sure you give them back. I’ve lost so much of that crucifix by lending out splinters to mates who lose them. I gave one to the King of Norway who dropped it onto the carpet and hoovered it up after it got stuck under a fingernail causing an unpleasant blister.”
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