Dealing with a stubborn or resistant older parent can be a difficult problem for adult children. Family caregivers and professionals have some hard-won lessons on how to manage these evolving relationships.
It was a regrettable mistake. But Kim Sylvester thought she was doing the right thing at the time. Her 80-year-old mother, Harriet Burkel, had fallen at her home in Raleigh, North Carolina, fractured her pelvis and gone to a rehabilitation center to recover. It was only days after the death of Burkel’s husband, 82, who had moved into a memory care facility three years earlier.
Barry Jacobs, a clinical psychologist and family therapist, sounded similar themes in describing a psychiatrist in his late 70s who didn’t like to bend to authority. After his wife died, the older man stopped shaving and changing his clothes regularly. Though he had diabetes, he didn’t want to see a physician and instead prescribed medicine for himself. Even after several strokes compromised his vision, he insisted on driving.
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