'It’s the only source of joy, the only routine. We must eat, and we’ll make it beautiful, and I’ll feel obscene and grotesque in my luck, and also sated and okay, for a few hours.'
Photo: Universal History Archive/Universal Images Group via Getty Here’s my love story, playing out in a 15-foot by 13-foot room. The single window faces a brick wall close enough to touch, and welcomes no sunlight. Under the glare of an overhead light, my boyfriend cooks, and I stare at the blue-gray walls, waiting to eat.
It’s the only source of joy, the only routine. We must eat, and we’ll make it beautiful, and I’ll feel obscene and grotesque in my luck, and also sated and okay, for a few hours. The walls of his small, dark room are lined with shelves as tall as I am holding cookbooks by Michel Bras and René Redzepi, Thomas Keller and Daniel Humm, Michel Guerard and Auguste Escoffier, or his former employer Daniel Boulud. When you open the closet you find seven button-up shirts and yet more cookbooks, or four encyclopedias about the wine regions of the world. His nightstand is a mini wine fridge.
Clockwise: Cauliflower with saffron sauce, pizza, asparagus with ginger and sunflower seeds, souffles. Kaitlin Menza. Clockwise: Cauliflower with saffron sauce, pizza, asparagus with ginger and sunflower seeds, souffles. Kaitlin Menza. At the nearby Whole Foods, life-saving staffers with walkie talkies now socially distance customers and create a long line down Third Avenue, so we try Gristede’s for once.
I try to contribute by chopping veggies or stirring pots, and he controls his face and his breathing very well but I can still feel his pupils dilating when I burn the very basic scrambled eggs, or get the timing wrong when sautéing onions. So I get enraged and stomp away and I say, “Okay, you do it then!” If I walked back to my own apartment uptown, with its single pot and single pan, I’d be eating a can of chickpeas every night and we both know that.
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