“I don’t buy that argument that you have to work on yourself and be in this great place and you will attract the right person”
They say you can never understand someone else’s marriage. But this week, New York Magazine and the Cut decided to try. We interrogated dozens of couples to see what makes their marriages work — or not.
Marriage No. 2 My second husband was this folksy, hippieish, supersmart pacifist known for being this nice, quiet, together, kinda wealthy dude. But in reality he just wasn’t. He never raised his voice, but he messed with my head. When I started figuring out who he was, it was terrifying. He was a narcissist. When we first got together, he love-bombed me. I had never been treated with so much love, ever, in my whole life.
Marriage No. 3 I was not in a good place when I met my third husband, so it wasn’t as if I was in a great position to make a “healthy” decision. It wasn’t like I learned life lessons that I took from marriage to marriage. In fact, the decision to get together with my third husband, who I love more than anything, was one of the dumbest I have made in my life. We were long distance and we’d seen each other a total of nine times before we moved in together.
6 More People on How They Chose Their Spouse “I married him because he had a trailer in Montauk. They’re all jerks at the end of the day, but that’s a terrific perk.” —Mia, 62, married seven years
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