'Nothing has been quite as humbling or eye-opening as getting to the point where we couldn’t afford food for our children.'
in and of itself. But my conditioning as a youth was so severe that I didn’t actually feel I deserved to spend money or have it spent on me at all.A week ago, I walked into a food bank for the very first time. My husband Matt ended a freelance job two months ago, and he hasn’t been able to find work since. My writing income is supplemental at best, and I juggle that with the all-consuming responsibilities of being a stay-at-home mom.
As I walked to my car, my arms hurting from the sheer weight of those bags, I broke down on the sidewalk and couldn’t catch my breath. The emotions I experienced in that trek to my parking spot were a strange combination I’d never fully felt before. I was consumed by intense bursts of humility, shame, guilt, and relief.
Matt and I are still in the rock-bottom world of financial struggle. He’s just been offered a new cross-country job that will be taking him away from our two young children and me, and my stress over the decision to have him go is at an all-time max. I am doing what I need to do in order to help my family survive now and thrive in the future, and that has helped me see the bigger picture in all of this.
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