Because only *you* should be deciding who to date.
Despite all this, millions of people each day go on dates and swipe left and right on dating apps, looking for that singular right person. While the desire for a fulfilling romantic union is certainly valid, the pressures of the dating industrial complex make it feel unnecessarily mandatory and urgent. Deciding to date on your terms, when you feel like it, is to buck a system that wasn’t made with your preferences and needs in mind.
Here are 5 questions to ask yourself to figure out what you actually want out of a relationship, if anythingwant from the experience of dating itself. Focusing on what others want from you will only disconnect you from your own desires and enjoyment. Exploring these various goals can allow you to shift how you experience the path toward them. The more aware you are of your intrinsic motivators, rather than all the “shoulds” you’ve been bombarded with, the more fulfilled you will feel along the way.The reasons we suffer while dating are two-fold: the experience itself and the meaning we make out of the experience. Say you have a “bad” date or one that doesn’t result in a second date.
Also, search for other aspects of the dating experience that may be unnecessarily contributing to stress, anxiety, fear, or disillusionment. If you hate dating apps, for example, ask yourself: Is it the apps themselves, the amount of time you spend on them, or the prep work that goes into the date? Be specific about what part of dating is unfulfilling and question that particular piece, not yourself or your desire for connection.Imagine making a decision with a gun to your head.
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