The path of reducing rather than only controlling a partner's tantrums includes the challenge of growing together, forgiving those who have been unfair, and practicing humility.
Popular approaches are to help the person focus on behaviors, such as correcting and boundary-setting.
Although Janice knew that all of us are imperfect and can get angry, this was different. Joshua showed frequent displays of temper, about once every two weeks and over a long period of time. Thetended to be intense and much stronger than the situation warranted. For example, she once served pancakes for dinner, and Joshua exploded, blaming her for inadequateas he stormed out of the house. After over a year of enduring this, she realized that a change had to occur.
It may help if the partner sees that he was disrespected in childhood, and so resentment remains. Yet, this is not a final solution to the tantrums because this focuses only on insight. Once a person has insight, the point is to move toward healing from both the insight and the substance underlying the insight.2. Suggesting forgiveness of others from the distant past who wounded your partner
. In that previous essay, I defined humility this way: “It thus is a view of the self as mortal and therefore imperfect, yet capable of higher moral accomplishment, without putting oneself first or being dominated by pride.”Humility, at least some of the time, seems to be able to lessen anger and boost good attitudes toward other people as a person honestly assesses their own justifiable inadequacies .
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