We Don’t Punish Our Kids, And No — They Aren’t Spoiled, Rude, Or Entitled Brats “This means no timeouts, no taking away screen time, no grounding. Here's why it works...”
Frankly put, “You don’t have enough energy or time in a day to correct everything your child does wrong.” Stick to focusing on “deal breaker stuff” like behaviors “that are harmful and unkind.” She also wrote something profound: “water the plant, not the weeds.” We can use our attention, redirection, distraction, verbal and nonverbal prompts, and more to help our kids versus honing in only on the bad and making it our life goal to ground or threaten these things out of our kids.
Lastly, Dr. Jones asks us to consider managing the environment. She shares that “being a parent is upper level management” and we need to do our best to control the environment. One strategy she mentions is being “proactive, not reactive.” By planning, anticipating, and getting creative, as well as establishing routines and structure for our kids, setting family rules, and giving our kids the opportunities to make choices, we are being good managers and helping our children succeed.
It’s so much work for parents to constantly chase kids with consequences that don’t make sense, especially when these punishments don’t match the behavior. We can either spend a lot of time and effort trying to control our kids, or we can strategize and set our children up to do well in the future, while still maintaining their trust in us.
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