Knowing how to read between the lines and pick up on colleagues’ subtle social cues is a critical skill. After all, there’s often an explicit conversation happening in a meeting or around the water cooler — and a tacit one. The best way to take the temperature of a room is to pay attention to the people in it. Note who’s next to whom, who’s relaxed, who’s not, who’s standing, and who’s sitting. Look at their facial expressions, posture, and body language. Then try to make sense of what you’ve observed. Reflect on possible reasons for your colleagues’ emotional states. What’s happening in their lives and in their jobs? If the atmosphere feels tense, don’t let yourself be hijacked by negativity. Instead, shift the mood using humor or empathy. Keep an eye out for positive signals, too — the executive in the corner who’s smiling, for instance — and concentrate on those.
. Be engaged. Make eye contact. “Position yourself so that you’re not inviting others to butt into your conversation. Help the other people feel confident that you are all in the moment together.” After the other person says something, paraphrase what they said to indicate that you’re paying attention. Similarly, “if the other person doesn’t seem to be hearing what you’re saying, and you start to realize that you’re talking at them, you should ask a question,” she adds.
“Since some of the things that we discuss are sensitive or controversial, I am often prepping for how my colleagues will react,” Karen says. Others, however, gave off a decidedly different vibe. Some people’s faces went blank; others visibly frowned. One — we’ll call her Jane — looked down and scribbled a note to a colleague sitting next to her.
Karen listened attentively to Jane’s reasoning. She empathized with her and asked her open-ended questions about her concerns. She wanted to make sure Jane felt heard. “I told her that the office would be an exact replica of our current space and that the views would be better,” she says.
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