This Photographer’s Raw Self-Portraits Capture the Beauty and Pain of Early Motherhood

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This Photographer’s Raw Self-Portraits Capture the Beauty and Pain of Early Motherhood
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After struggling as a first-time mother, British photographer Sophie Harris-Taylor was inspired to create a visual document that captured the nuances of breastfeeding. See every raw self-portrait here:

is an intimate series of portraits of women as they navigate—many for the first time—everything from the painful realities of latching, to the beautiful bond breastfeeding can create between a mother and child. Nearly three years on, after giving birth to her second child, Sophie has turned the camera on herself, this time to capture her personal journey of pregnancy, childbirth, and those first moments with a newborn baby—and the mixed emotions that came with it.

The more uncomfortable I became during pregnancy, the more compelled I felt to document and gain some control over what was happening to me. I’d always been incredibly self-conscious and one to shy away from the camera, always photographing others and telling my story through someone else’s. This time was different—I felt truly alone in my experience and without any kind of reference points.

The second birth was a bit of a rollercoaster. I thought I’d nailed it until three days afterwards when I suffered a severe prolapse, something completely unexpected. Back at the hospital, back on the labour ward, I can only say I wish I’d known or been made aware that this could have been prevented. There’s always hindsight. It’s a long road to recovery, and something I’ll probably be living with for life.

I think at the time it was almost like therapy, getting to bond and connect with other mums going through similar experiences. I felt like everyone I met had their own unique experience, but with so many parallels.It’s come a lot more naturally—I guess I knew what I was in for. The first time around it was complex, a complete minefield, it felt all-consuming and took over, especially at the beginning—it’s a full-time job feeding around-the-clock every couple of hours.

I’ve become a lot closer to my mum since becoming a mother. At first, I wanted to show I could do it all—I didn’t want to be patronized—but there were times with my son when I’d call my mum for help. And since my second child, I feel like we’ve become even closer. There’s a lot more appreciation there and an understanding, and I think we’ve begun to bond over motherhood. It’s become a common ground.

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