Personality tests are often fun, but can they also change your beliefs about yourself?
Fortunately, they kept getting to know each other and eventually Lauren decided to disregard the personality test. Happily married with five kids, the pair now laughs about the test that almost ruined their relationship.
And that’s when Hardy takes on another popular belief among psychologists: that the best predictor of future behavior is the past. He spends a great deal of the book showing us how that is not true. The past only defines us if we get stuck. We get frozen in the past for two reasons: unresolvedIndeed, an interest in trauma was what sparked the idea for the book. “I wanted to understand better how unresolved trauma leads people to,” he told me. “Trauma shatters your hope and imagination.
He believes there is an alternative. ‘You need a clear future self in order to engage in deliberate practice.” There is a growing body of research to back this up. Consider the 2015by Nathan Hudson and Chris Fraley, which found that personality can be changed by goal setting and sustained effort. Still, Hardy has a point when he writes that everyone’s personality changes, whether we do it on purpose or not. He referenceswhen he says that our personalities actually change so much, 10 years can change us into a different person. We might as well take charge of the process.
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