Advice from Clara Amfo, Oloni, annielord8 and karengurney5.
“So much of it is just time,” she assured the audience. “I don’t think there’s anything you can do, and it can feel really bruising when people suggest that you’ll ‘find someone else’ or ‘forget about the person’. And you don’t have to think about the relationship having ‘failed’, because there was a point where it worked but then something went wrong. It’s not you messing up.
“In my work as a therapist, I noticed that a lot of people framed their sexual life as a switch, and beyond the couple of minutes a week or a month they’re performing the act of sex, the rest of their sex life is ‘off’,” she said. “They’re not doing anything to relate to each other, like passionately kissing, flirting, sending sexual texts; the stuff that connects you at the start of a relationship but tends to dwindle as time passes.
The good news, however, is that there are simple ways you can create a culture shift and increase the sexual currency by tapping back into those ‘early days’ behaviours and reconnecting through actions such as kissing and flirty physical contact. Looking at the number of nodding heads in the audience, it was clear Dr Gurney’s advice had touched a nerve.
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