The Rapture of Listening to a Fake Baseball Game

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The Rapture of Listening to a Fake Baseball Game
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Episodes of the podcast “Northwoods Baseball Sleep Radio,” which run around two hours, are full-length fake baseball games. “It’s minor-league elevator music, honeyed with a small-town nostalgia,” xwaldie writes.

, which serve up the pleasures of their real-life counterparts—intimacy, conflict, drama—minus the inconvenience of the events needing to have actually happened. But what do you get when you subtract the reportage from a baseball broadcast? Something like a phone book full of invented names; something like rainfall statistics for a C.G.I. town. The more you think about the “Northwoods” league, the more mind-bending its inquiries appear: into realism, into data, into form itself.

Still, an analysis from three thousand feet can’t capture the full headiness of the show. To access its dark magic, I listened to all of its roughly nine hours of soporific droning. Non-spoilers ahead: in the first installment, the Big Rapids Timbers took on the Cadillac Cars at Foghorn Field. Led by the pitcher Blinky Malone—“not known as a fast worker”—Cadillac won, 6–4. Next, the Cars faced off against the Manistee Eagles at Sam Nolan Field.

But Mr. King doesn’t just uncouple the sound of individual words from their meanings. Severing the cord between Wally’s narration and reality, he placesitself behind a closed door. The games floating down from “Northwood,” gutted both of matter and of fiction’s compensatory adornments, evoke only a bare trace, a shape, of incident. They’re all melting snow, washing characters of themselves, and making listeners feel, if not sleepy, then perhaps a little less real.

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