Rich and velvety, leche flan is the Philippines’ answer to Spanish flan.
with her when she immigrated from Manila to Brooklyn in 1971. She came alone to work as a nurse, her husband and children following behind a year later. I think of the courage it must have taken to come to an unfamiliar country by herself. Brooklyn was worlds away from her former life: bone-chilling winters, crammed apartments, people who resented her community’s presence but happily used their labor. Only decades later did she reveal that she cried almost every day from sheer loneliness.
When my paternal grandfather passed away, I was surprised to see Lola join us on the flight to Florida. She barely knew my grandma and didn’t speak great English. Lola, however, made short work of little barriers like that. She cooked Western food that was unfamiliar to her and tidied their condo until spotless. Once I saw her and my other grandma sitting in silence next to each other. They didn’t talk and I don’t think they needed to. Compassion is quiet.
My mother, Clariza, like many first generation daughters, worked hard in school growing up, went to a good college, and then moved back in with her parents. She broke the mold when she announced she was moving to Los Angeles. The family was aghast. disowned her. But Lola quietly packed a bag and flew across the country to help my mother find a place.
Fresh out of nursing school, my mom was nervous when introduced to my dad, one of her first patients at UCLA. They both distinctly remember her tangling him up in a mess of IV tubing. A few years after getting married, they moved to Chapel Hill, North Carolina to raise my twin brother and me. Chapel Hill is a liberal spot in a decidedly conservative state, but the South was wildly different from what my mother knew.
Southern suburbia is a peculiar beast. It’s a world of often difficult-to-navigate social politics, invisible to the naked eye, and deceptively insular communities. Years can pass before you break in. Eventually, she learned the intricacies of the PTA, summer camps, cotillion , club soccer, the local church, and what it actually means when someone says “Bless your heart.”
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