Today's potential threats are to our ego, our self-esteem, our identity. We are especially vulnerable in our desire to be included, to feel valued, to belong. This is why collaborative leaders need to be aware of their body language.
For example, in our prehistory, it may have been vitally important to see an approaching person’s hands in order to evaluate his intent. If hands were concealed they could very well be holding a rock, a club, or other means of doing us harm. In interactions today, with no logical reason to do so, you will instinctively mistrust me if my hands stay out of sight – shoved in my pockets or clasped behind my back.
Think of it this way: In any interaction you are communicating over two channels – verbal and nonverbal – resulting in two distinct conversations going on at the same time. What my audience member underestimated was the power of alignment -- that is, the spoken word needs to be aligned with body language that supports it. When this alignment doesn’t occur, the other person has to choose between the words and the body language. Almost always, she will believe the nonverbal message.
When you use warm, “pro-social” body language with all team members, you create an emotionally rich environment that supports collaboration and high performance. Here are some examples of what I mean: And since collaboration depends on participants’ willingness to speak up and share ideas and insights, try using your head – literally. Research shows that you can increase participation by nodding your head with clusters of three nods at regular intervals.Head tilting is also a signal that you are interested, curious, and involved. The head tilt is a universal gesture ofAs such, head tilts can be very positive cues when you want to encourage people to expand on their comments.
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