1/ Each week, TODAY’s long-running Big Read series delves into the trends and issues that matter. This week, we look at how extramarital affairs affect couples and their families and how they try to move on.
Two years into a marriage with a three-month-old daughter, Ms Smith, who was then 34, was still high with the excitement of starting a family with the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with.
“It was like my world collapsed… I sacrificed so much to start a family with him while I was pursuing a PhD, and was filled with hope and happiness of a family life,” said the Singaporean, who declined to state her occupation. Just two days later, Worker’s Party MP for Aljunied GRC Leon Perera and fellow WP central executive committee member Nicole Seah
One spouse turned to alcohol to ease the pain, while another sought psychiatric help following the shock. “We’re still a very traditional society, so people question who did what wrong when a relationship breaks down… it’s tough to handle that when you’re dealing with the betrayal,” said Ms Smith. She had thought little about the red flags that foreshadowed her husband's affair — he had left her with a friend at a party to tail a young girl to the bathroom, and once went missing while they were travelling in Prague to “gawk at girls”.
“I felt the rug yank from under my feet. I was angry beyond words,” she said, recalling how she felt upon discovering the messages.When she confronted her husband with the messages, he insisted that there was “nothing going on”. It took her over a year for Mrs SL to move on after divorcing her husband — but not before turning to alcohol to lessen the pain.
“I was embarrassed because my friends like me for who I am; a strong and independent person. But during that time, that was not who I was.” “It's hard to trust people or really talk about it because its so raw... all the emotions and time I devoted to him just came crashing down because of his actions.”For Sam , his father's infidelity has made him “grow up incredibly quickly”.
“It felt like he was literally part-timing as my dad, and part-timing as someone else's husband,” said Sam, adding that it had been an odd compromise “in hindsight”. She sees her former husband's affairs as something she caused, and also fears others judging her family.“To this day, I feel like her primary caretaker. Caretaker exhaustion is real, and I get it whenever she has flare-ups, temper tantrums and episodes,” he said.
The duo shared similar interests and outlook in life, leading them to develop feelings for each other.“We both consciously decided to get into a relationship. Of course we knew it was wrong, but some days we tried to justify it.” While Kristie knew the relationship was wrong — not only to him and his wife, but also to herself — she told TODAY she did not regret it.
The injured partner, who goes through a process called betrayal trauma, experiences symptoms such as anxiety, depression, hyper-vigilance and fear, she said. The impact of intense conflicts between couples grappling with infidelity issues can also shape a negative perception of marriage and relationships among their children, or cause them to feel unsafe in their own home.
Despite facing emotional trauma, families find it hard to seek solace in their usual support systems, namely close relatives and friends. Ms Png said that it is often because there is a void in the relationship — which can be both physical and emotional in nature. Mr Lim added that what constitutes cheating is largely dependent on the couple’s own boundaries regarding infidelity.
“Before the smartphone, it’s not as easy to meet up with somebody and keep in touch. Now, it’s almost instant,” he said. Another trend that Mr Shakirin had observed among his clients was how the pandemic had increased friction among couples as people spent more time at home, causing a breakdown in relationships.to June 1, 2020, people were allowed to leave their homes only for essential activities such as buying food and groceries. This was to control the spread of the Covid-19 virus.
The emotional impact extramarital affairs can have also applies to both genders, said Mr Lim of Singapore Counselling Centre, adding that men generally engage less in help-seeking behaviour as they fear appearing “weak” or “vulnerable”. “The process of finding peace and rebuilding a relationship after an affair can be a lonely and painful one,” she added.
“Things won’t be the same from what it once was, but you’re working from the ground up in rebuilding the relationship, which can be a beautiful process,” said Ms Png.
日本 最新ニュース, 日本 見出し
Similar News:他のニュース ソースから収集した、これに似たニュース記事を読むこともできます。
Extramarital affairs: Why they happen, how couples can save their marriage, dealing with childrenWhat are the hard questions to ask yourself and your spouse if you want to mend the relationship after someone cheats in a marriage? How do you address the issue with your children? What are the signs that it's not going to work out at all? CNA Lifestyle asks some experts.
続きを読む »
Big X taken down from Twitter roof after San Francisco squabbleIt is gone. A giant, glowing X no longer marks the spot on the San Francisco high-rise that is headquarters to Elon Musk's messaging company X, formerly known as Twitter.The city building department logged 24 complaints after a weekend of the big X, which on Friday was erected on the roof of the company's
続きを読む »
The small shareholder who grilled big companies at AGMs: Narayana Narayanan dies at 95SINGAPORE — In the eyes of many minority shareholders in Singapore, Mr Narayana Iyer Narayanan was an outspoken fighter for the rights of these retail investors, many of whom did not have deep financial knowledge of the companies they had invested in. To the boards of directors of Singapore blue-chip companies, Mr AGM, as he was sometimes called, was the...
続きを読む »
KF Seetoh: There are world class talents in Singapore, but SG 'sucks big time' in promoting them to the world - Singapore News'Even locals don't fervently watch n read national news platforms,” he added
続きを読む »
Finland banks on health tech to keep seniors cared for at home longerFinland is a key hub for health innovation Read more at straitstimes.com.
続きを読む »
Finland banks on health tech to keep seniors cared for at home longerFinland is a key hub for health innovation Read more at straitstimes.com.
続きを読む »