Broadcaster Tara Mills reflects on the impact of the loss of her brother Richard to suicide in 2008.
As an award-winning photographer, Richard worked in conflict zones in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and ZimbabweOn 14 July 2008 my dad called to my house at 07:00. He had a key but it was an unusually early time for him to visit."Richard's been killed in Zimbabwe," he said.
He'd left home for England when he was 21 while we stood in tears at Belfast International Airport waving him off. Richard's son Finn was just five at the time and he was staying with my parents in Belfast while his mum and dad were both abroad working. Nearly every photograph I have of my brother when we were kids he's making a rude gesture covering his face.
He came back to Northern Ireland regularly for the Times. During the Holy Cross dispute in 2001 he arrived to cover the stand-off outside the girls' primary school.Richard became an award-winning war photographer working in conflict zones in Iraq, Afghanistan, Pakistan and Zimbabwe I remember him talking down the fact that when he returned from the trip he had frostbite and ended up with pneumonia.
And although we'll never know why, it doesn't stop us wondering. And sometimes we have to be careful not to drive ourselves mad in the process. Was it PTSD? It's unlikely we could ever make the trip without the security of a film crew and director. It was tricky even then.
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