Passive aggressive Post-its aren’t on the list.
too: If someone’s parent never made them pick up so much as a sock, they may be slow to realize that no one’s about to tend to their trail of dirty laundry.
Whether you’re residing with a total stranger or someone you know, in a dorm or an apartment, resolving classic college roommate issues such as messiness, too-frequent sleepover guests, and all manner of personal-space discomfortspossible, though. According to Mayone, it requires honing a set of communication skills necessary for harmoniously sharing spaces with other people . And it can betrying to navigate a new set of norms and expectations.
Ohio State University is among the schools that “highly encourage” students to draw up their own roommate agreement,, a clinical therapist in OSU’s Housing & Residence Education department, tells SELF. Wessell recommends scheduling a confidential conversation with your roommate in which you both discuss your needs, expectations, and deal breakers and write them down . It’s important to be as honest as possible . The end goal is to create a document that’ll hold you both accountable.
Among the issues to discuss: Do either of you have a significant other on campus, or back home, who may visit regularly? If so, how can you set boundaries for those visits? How will you storeroom or the kitchen? Are you allowed to use each other’s stuff, such as a record player, if you share a common area? Should you establish quiet hours—or if you’re in a hybrid setup, hours when one of you needs the shared living space for a virtual class? “This conversation is about trying to help each other...
That’s part of why establishing different friend circles early on in your college career is important, Mayone says. “Plus, if you do end up in a situation where your roommate is really tough to live with,” she adds, “you have other connections or even other places to crash or just have a break.”Though setting ground rules can certainly help ward off future grievances, you’re still two different people living in the same space, so you’re bound to clash at some point.
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