Richard Kyte: Key to happiness is learning to accept things as they are

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Richard Kyte: Key to happiness is learning to accept things as they are
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Commentary: Once we stop looking at what happens to us as an affirmation or rejection of our egos and instead learn to see it as a test of character, the world begins to wear a very different appearance.

When my son was about 3 years old, I used to take him with me to a local lumberyard. The store had an old-fashioned gumball machine just inside the entrance. It was the kind you rarely see anymore, with a large glass globe filled with hundreds of huge gumballs. Place a nickel in the slot, turn the crank, and a gumball would roll out on a metal tray.

People are also reading… “I want a blue one,” he said one day. “Well,” I replied, “you get what you get.” The key to happiness, the Stoics taught, is learning to accept things as they are. Epictetus put it this way: “Do not seek to have events happen as you want them to, but instead want them to happen as they do happen, and your life will go well.”

Many people today think that to be “stoic” is to be without emotion, to go through life like a zombie, either hiding or suppressing one’s feelings. But that is not what the classical Stoics taught. They believed in a fierce engagement with life, always focused on virtue. They were much more concerned about how they acted than whether their actions resulted in what most people would regard as gains.

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