'I felt like I couldn't be autistic, because surely, someone would have noticed it by now. I gaslit myself, dismissing my experiences, thinking it must just be in my head. But a persistent little voice inside me kept asking: what if?'
Truthfully, I went through most of my life never evenIt wasn’t until my mid-20s that I heard women talking about their autistic experiences, and how autism is often missed in women, and gender-diverse and non-binary people.
I didn’t realize I was masking or hiding. And every time I recognized another autistic trait, I’d tell myself it was a coincidence or anxious overthinking.to myself. I was already going through health battles; fighting to be believed about my chronic pain and fatigue, and applying for the National Disability Insurance Scheme in Australia to get these issues addressed. I didn’t need another thing to fight the healthcare system for.
Autism isn’t a bad thing: it’s a beautiful thing. And my diagnosis after regularly seeing a psychologist has changed my life because, finally, I understand. It feels like everything makes sense, especially when I look back at my childhood and teenage years, and realize why certain things were so hard for me. It’s an enormous relief. I wasn’t too much. I wasn’t too sensitive. I wasn’t too weak. I wasn’t overreacting. I was just different, and that isn't a bad thing.
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