To get children to think for themselves, listen more, lecture less
, saying that adults, even their parents, either didn’t listen, doubted them or dismissed their concerns as drama.That American boys are responsible for so much of the harm shows that they also need — at the very least — a different way of being parented.“I don’t like the idea of ‘good parents’ and ‘bad parents,” she said. “Some parents just have more tools and approaches that work for them.”
The lessons, aimed at parents of children age 3 to 18, are reasonably simple to understand. But not always easy to implement. Parenting is a lifelong endeavor, and the PEP motto is “progress not perfection.”Mary Douglas, a parent facilitator for the resiliency program, said one challenge is getting parents to see that punishing children is not the only way to change behavior — and is not even the best way.
Gary’s tweak would involve telling the kid to take a deep breath, walk him outside, and then let him know you’re listening and concerned as you work to resolve the problem together.
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