Carolyn Hax: Should she send former stepkids old photos of their dad?
As I age, I realize I have pictures of their dad and a couple of things their paternal grandmother had given me. I am trying to downsize and let go. Should I send these items to the kids? Or should they go in the donation box?Putting myself in the kids’ place, I say box up whatever you have and send it with a nice note that you found these mementos and thought they might want them. The substance matters, not the source.
I could see myself having a 45-year standoff with boxes in my basement. Going through stuff is the worst, and it’s possible to forget or not even know about what’s in there.I have a relative I haven’t seen or spoken to ever, really, and they said they “felt weird” emailing me to ask if I wanted something of my grandfather’s — I guess they were just hoping to go through my father and avoid talking to me directly.
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