Opinion | The Stud wasn't just a gay bar. It was a place to find our whole community.

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Opinion | The Stud wasn't just a gay bar. It was a place to find our whole community.
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Opinion | Lily Burana: 'Everyone was always welcome, and everyone was always wanted, at The Stud. Letting it go right now feels like giving up too much.' - NBCNewsTHINK

And in such a diverse crowd, you’d receive a veritable queer culture primer, regardless of your own gender, orientation or expression. You’d be just as likely to be recommended Geoff Mains’ introduction to leathersex philosophy and practice"Urban Aboriginals” as you would"The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual." It was where the emerging aesthetics being explored in lesbian feminist porn magazine “On Our Backs” met up with classic male homoerotic styling of Tom of Finland.

But perhaps what made The Stud so much fun was the flirting. With such a diverse clientele, everyone could offer everyone else a kind word and a wink. In such a space, compliments were the coin of the realm, and everyone was rich as hell on them. I learned there that flattery was as much an instrument of friendship-building as it was of cruising.

Truly, The Stud was a Variety-Pak of amusement, innovation and camaraderie. When pockets of the LGBTQ community felt exclusionary or fell into internecine bickering, you could be assured that, at The Stud, no one would yuck your yum. And, sure, there’s good reason for discrete LGBTQ subcultures to have their own hangouts — and San Francisco has hosted the full range. There were, and are, leather bars, drag bars, lesbian bars, loud dance spots for club kids and quiet watering holes for older gays, like the Twin Peaks Tavern . But we all had The Stud as common ground.

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