As cities and towns prepare to reopen, anxiety is on the rise. Here's how to manage your emotions.
While negative thoughts are inevitable right now, those that are catastrophic in nature, or that are predictive — as in ‘this is going to happen to me’ or ‘I know that this won't end anytime soon,’ create intense emotions, Chapman said. An important skill is to identify those negative thoughts and recognize that they contribute to maintaining strong emotions.This isn’t about positive thoughts, necessarily, Chapman explained, but coming up with more flexible thoughts.
He recommends coming up with what he calls a retrieval cue, something that reminds you to remain in uncomfortable situations. That can be an image or a small statement — Chapman likes to use an anchor. “It's a reminder of being flexible, being present, not escaping, that triggers the brain to recall the right things to do and say in that situation, and helps you remain.”
“I create a hierarchy of social situations that are uncomfortable, identify my thoughts in advance, and then become more flexible in those thoughts,” he explained. That cue “reminds me of anxiety being harmless, of anxiety being adaptive and helpful, and I ride the wave as opposed to fleeing.”Chapman recommends finding behaviors you can engage in to help navigate strong emotions.
A critical adaptive behavior is anchoring in the present, he said. Say you’re in a crowded subway car and feel anxiety rising, a technique to use in the moment is breathing in through the nose for four seconds and out through the mouth for six. “That stimulates heart lung synchronization, so now you're anchored and grounded in the present moment,’ he said.
Following the situation, ask yourself what you learned, Chapman said. “Your brain learns a new non-threatening association despite how you feel in that context. So it's not about stress reduction. It's about learning something new, learning that I can tolerate discomfort, learning that this sky isn't actually going to crack and learning that it might be better than I expected it to be.”Arguably the most important element is to teach someone else to do the same thing, Chapman said.
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