When nesting arrangements are abused, the house is no longer a place of safety, says one writer
Nesting means that the children continue to live in the family home, while the parents take it in turns to move in and out weekly My husband sends me a vicious text, complaining about the state of the shower. He’s been fishing the gloop out of the plughole, but leaving it in the middle of the shower tray for me to find when I return home. It’s not an oversight, forgotten as part of the bigger job of actually cleaning the shower. No. The matted black slop is left there to make a point.
Feeding the children on his days seems to mean buying just enough for one meal, and not a jot more – presumably lest I accidentally benefit in some small way too and enjoy a free biscuit I don’t deserve. He fights what he sees as the unfairness of me being here one day a week more than him with a thousand tiny acts of protest – financial and emotional. He has still never changed anyone’s bedsheets, washed the towels, cleaned the bathrooms or bought shampoo.
I beg him to agree how we fairly split our outgoings, but he just ignores me. It’s inaction, weaponised. It’s not that he can’t pay. He just won’t. I’ve been lucky to find my first full-time job after years of child-rearing. I know I will need to support myself, but my husband is doing everything he can to teach me a lesson. That lesson is: how dare you try to leave. You will pay.
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