'During food-focused holidays, people like my son face a barrage of uncomfortable corrections when they just want to be left alone with what is essentially an invisible disability.'
I texted him to ask how he would explain ARFID to a friend who didn’t understand eating disorders. “It’s like a fight or flight response with food,” he texted back.People with ARFID have a small number of ‘safe foods’ they can eat without any psychologically adverse effects, something they default to on a daily basis. There’s vomiting only with certain foods.”
He was at risk for nutritional deficits and anemia, had blood work at all pediatrician visits, and was often prescribed vitamins and supplements which made him gag. It all felt like a punishment. During food-focused holidays, people like my son face a barrage of uncomfortable corrections when they just want to be left alone with what is essentially an invisible disability. He can either smile and tolerate the interrogations, educate the person ― which is fraught because it is sad to have ARFID ― or escape the situation. Any conversation about food is associated with shame and being reminded that there’s something “wrong” with you.
Each month he chose one “food challenge.” He took one to two bites a day and kept a log of his reactions. One summer month he chose strawberries. While he took a bite and grimaced, I had several. In his log, my son wrote words like “bitter” and “nasty.” Strawberries never became a safe food.
My son’s expression relaxed. He even ordered a fancy cocktail ― bourbon, sherry, cranberry syrup and lemon ― and he liked it! It was a rare moment when we had a family dinner at a restaurant. It was the best dinner we ever had, and he didn’t feel like there was something wrong with him.
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