.mistyonpointe on becoming a mom, writing a memoir, and returning to the stage
. My schedule looks so different now than it has my entire career. I’m just now trying to find time to dip my toes back into the studio so I can prepare to get back onstage. Next week, I’ll be in the studio every single morning, but that hasn’t really been my life in the last year-plus.There’s so many layers to that.
Then, of course, when I was promoted to principal dancer, that was the ultimate achievement. Again, feeling that it was for my community as a whole, just by having that title — what it meant and what it could mean for the future of dance and for so many other people to come after me to say that,I think toward the beginning of my career, being the only Black woman in ABT for ten years, it starts to wear you down. I joined the company with ringing endorsements of “You’re a prodigy.
Well, why am I the only [one]? How am I any better than any other Black dancer that came before me? What does it mean to be here?Over and over again, the common theme has just been allowing support into my life. Susan Fales-Hill, who co-wrotewith me, has been such a huge impact in my life as a guiding force. Meeting my manager, Gilda Squire, meeting Raven Wilkinson — all of these amazing Black women who have been there at important times in my life to reinforce my purpose.
That was ingrained in us as Black women in the ballet world. So when I was given the opportunity to do, it was like this ancestral trauma that I’m bringing with me — this responsibility that if I don’t live up to these standards, what will that mean for future Black dancers taking on this role? Will they be given the opportunity, or will I be the reason not? All of these things were going through my head.
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