Some “friends” seem to see us as innkeepers rather than hosts. They rise late, leave for the day, and sometimes return after dark ..
DEAR MISS MANNERS: There’s a local saying where we live: “You never know how many friends you have until you have a beach house.”
We were lucky enough to have bought a beach house before prices in our area spiraled out of control. We frequently invite friends, new and old, to stay with us, but we have noticed a trend that disappoints us. Some “friends” seem to see us as innkeepers rather than hosts. They will rise late, leave for the day, and sometimes return after dark . They share neither breakfast nor dinner with us, despite our repeated invitations, leaving us with an abundance of food we purchased to share with them.
Are we incorrect in thinking an invitation to stay with us includes the expectation that they will spend at least some of the time actually WITH us?Miss Manners is shocked that this happened to you even once. That it has happened so often as to be considered a trend makes her wonder whether you should rephrase your invitations -- and revise your guest list.
Meanwhile, you could detect intentions by asking what they eat for breakfast and whether they have any dinner restrictions. If the answer is “Oh, we won’t be around for meals,” you can respond, “Oh, dear, we had hoped to enjoy your company. But as this isn’t a good time for you to visit us, let’s rethink it.”
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