A guest who offers to help can be expected to perform a simple errand or clear the table after dinner ... not build a new deck, clean out the basement or paint the house.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: We have relatives who stay with us twice a year, for a week or two at a time. We very much appreciate their visits; their presence is welcome. As a thank-you for their stay, they offer to “do whatever needs doing” around the house and yard. My husband and I are the parents of a busy young family, and our area is rural enough that services like lawn care and housekeeping aren’t widely available, so we welcome extra help when we can get it.
For example, the trim work on our house is done in contrasting colors, but they painted it all one color -- it seems using two colors was “too hard,” even though I gave them the paint and brushes to do both. Long-term guests who offer to help should properly be understood to mean that they will perform a simple errand or clear the table after dinner -- not build a new deck, clean out the basement or paint the house. Miss Manners does not bar a truly dedicated guest from volunteering to do any of those, but it cannot be expected of them -- nor suggested.DEAR MISS MANNERS: A person I was once very close to, but who was not family, has died.
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