DEAR MISS MANNERS: Ah, weddings. My daughter is getting married in a few weeks, and I am looking forward to a lovely occasion. The bride and groom adamantly insisted on inviting only people they knew, not every relation. No “plus one” invitations were sent.My sister-in-law approached the bride and then me, blithely suggesting she would bring her son’s ex-wife along to stand in for her son, who is unlikely to attend. She seems to think wedding invitations are transferable.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: Ah, weddings. My daughter is getting married in a few weeks, and I am looking forward to a lovely occasion. The bride and groom adamantly insisted on inviting only people they knew, not every relation. No “plus one” invitations were sent.
My sister-in-law is welcome to bring her granddaughter , but the former daughter-in-law is a stranger to both the bride and me. We clearly told my sister-in-law that was unacceptable. She has now asked a second time, and I am worried she will just invite her anyway. How far out of line is my sister-in-law? Are we out of touch with modern norms? Is this a clear social breach warranting a firm, precautionary phone call, or is it too petty to bother?
Your letter indicates, however, that there might be a bigger problem at hand -- a 7-year old on the loose -- for which Miss Manners has a modicum of sympathy. You may have to choose between inviting the mother, procuring help and having a restless child at the wedding. There will likely be disruption with any of these options.
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