I don’t want to be rude, but this flaunting of religion is offensive.
Is there a polite way to respond that also gently tells the other person that that phrase is inappropriate and unwelcome?Although you and your friends are religion-free, language is not. Even “goodbye” derives from “God be with ye.” People who bless you when you sneeze would be puzzled to be accused of forcing their religion on you.
As you are against bringing religion into public discourse, Miss Manners wonders why you are even tempted to open such discussions. Explaining your position is surely an opening for others to explain theirs. She suggests that you continue to tolerate conventional cliches and stop taking them personally.I recently searched for the address of an instructor from my college years, which were about 35 years ago, so I could thank her again for helping me learn and grow.
I began drafting a condolence letter to her husband, whom I never knew, but a close friend has gently suggested that I ought not to send it.
On the one hand, I would want to know — even 12 years later — that my late parent or partner had touched someone’s life. On the other, my friend has made some valid points.Only people who have never lost someone dear to them could believe that the bereaved don’t want to be reminded that such a person ever existed. Why your close friend wants to talk you out of offering a source of comfort to an elderly widower, Miss Manners cannot imagine.
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