Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
: I enjoy cooking and setting a nice table, and my spouse and I often invite several couples over for dinner. After the meal, I have come upon a problem: I don’t feel right clearing the table for able-bodied adults of equal status to me.
Something seems amiss if I am expected to be the server or cleaning crew. I’d just like everyone to scrape their plates, briefly rinse them and stack them near the sink.: What is amiss, Miss Manners notices, is your definition of a host. You clear the table when you are the host. The reciprocity comes when your friends entertain you.: After leaving a decade ago for college, I have returned to the city my mother lives in.
Today, it seems no one practices this. Caller ID does not always provide a name or place of business, so I often have no idea who is calling. I am struggling to figure out a way to politely answer callers who start with, “Is this Wendy?”
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