Plus: I was right. Their famous friend is a jerk.
I was speechless. Not only did my friend and I not make the cut for the first shower, but the mother-to-be allowed us to throw her a second one.At this point, little good will come of trying to determine whether your co-worker actively took advantage of you, or whether she was paralyzed by embarrassment when she realized you did not know about the first shower — and then compounded her initial misstep.
True, punishing pregnant women does not appear to be going out of fashion, but Miss Manners recommends a more professional approach. Next time someone at the office is expecting, say, “That’s wonderful! I’m so happy for her. But perhaps it’s past time for us to leave baby showers to family and friends where they belong.”For years, our friends Cody and Nicole would often talk admirably about a high-profile person they knew.
At the time, when I expressed my dismay, they treated me in a condescending manner, saying I didn’t know how business was done. Time has gone by, and sure enough, this man is on trial and it’s worse than I thought. Cody and Nicole act like they never imagined the truth; I think they’re just surprised he’s been called out. I find myself disgusted with them.
My husband still wants to socialize with them; I don’t. If I do see them, I’d like to say “I told you so,” then ask why they excused his behavior for so long and how they reconcile that with their regular church attendance.The moral question of whether their behavior can be forgiven is outside the purview of etiquette, but your proposed solution is not.
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