Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
This happened to my husband at the grocery store: It was raining, and a row of dripping-wet shopping carts stood in an area near the door. Customers could take a cart, then use the paper towels that were helpfully left there to dry them off before entering the store.
By the way, I think Husband is great to do the shopping. And if that lady had the manners to ask first, I am certain he would have just given her the dried-off cart.: No, don’t you dare call her Karen. If we are to consider manners, consider how rude it is to use a respectable name, which graces many innocent people, as an insult.There is a glaring gender problem here: While deference to a lady in such a situation is not required, it is often presumed.
In situations where it is not easy to discern which form may be appropriate , I find myself simply saying, “Yes” or “Thank you.” This doesn’t feel polite, but I don’t want to address someone in an unwelcome way.
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