Where I come from, it’s common knowledge that the host and hostess sit at the ends of the dining table.
To usurp the hostess’ chair would be a great show of disrespect for the hostess and an insult to the host. Such an act could easily cause a feud.
Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Has etiquette relaxed so much that guests can sit where they please without regard to their hosts?Oh, that’s right, you don’t want to appear stuffy. Miss Manners hears that word a lot from people who do not want to follow procedures that have been worked out to make things orderly.
Telling guests what arrangements you have made for their comfort -- for example, a seating plan that puts potentially compatible people together -- is not offensive. On the contrary. If you did not tell your guests where to sit at the table, you left them to fend for themselves, and they did. To deduce from this that your guests intended to insult you is, indeed, making a big deal out of nothing.
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