'That’s my pretty much my entire aesthetic. I am going to live as both of these things, and I am going to exist in these spaces, and you are going to accept it.'
Alyy Patel is a LGBTQ+ activist and graduate student living in Canada. Her research includes “'Brown Girls Can’t Be Gay': Racism Experienced By Queer South Asian Women in the Toronto LGBTQ Community,” which was published in the Journal of Lesbian Studies in March 2019. Patel founded the Queer South Asian Womxn’s Network and was the first ever South Asian speaker at the 2020 Toronto Dyke March.
It sounds to me, and please correct me, what you’re really saying is we need to be more accepting of wherever people are in their journey and if their journey is “simply” identifying their sexuality and living what we white women consider closeted, that’s fine and we should find ways to support these people.
It’s actually very interesting because all of my platforms look very different. My Facebook is where I have a lot of family, so I casually leave [my posts] as allyship. I don’t post about my personal queerness on [Facebook]. On my Instagram I am very out, and I make a deliberate effort to block aunties and relatives.
You have mentioned numerous times how difficult it can be for South Asians to explore their sexuality, find their identity, and be accepted. Where did you get your boldness and character from to be like, I know this is hard, but I have to do this? That’s huge and so admirable. I think there are so many queer people who feel like they have rid themselves of their cultural background to be queer. You refusing to choose an identity is so useful for many types of people to see that you can, even if it’s hard, decide to live as both of these things, and if people don’t like it, fuck them.
Ideally get nonprofit status, which is difficult because it’s such a specific niche. It’s difficult enough to get funding for queer women’s things and then adding the layer of a racialized queer women’s organization. We want actual funds to do something more for the community and exist in physical spaces where we can provide proper resources.
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