One woman's 31-day crash course in self-pleasure for the hell of it.
Did you know May is national masturbation month? Yup, an entire month dedicated to touching yourself. The month came as a result of the then-Surgeon general, Joycelyn Elders, deciding that masturbation should be a part of sex education in 1994. She was fired by former president Clinton for this act.
“Simple. No problem," I thought. Masturbating everyday didn’t seem like a huge stretch by any means. I was excited to learn new things and explore parts of my sexuality, though nervous about sharing my experience in a group . While I managed to complete 20 out of the 31 days, what I wasn’t prepared for was not only how difficult it was, but what it brought up for me.
Day 19- I remember feeling really sad because I had the realization of how little pleasure I allow in my life. Not only is making time for pleasure an issue, but when doing pleasurable things, I'm so often rushing through them, trying to get them 'done' so I can move on to work. 2. There Is Room For Play, Even By Yourself I can say that I don’t have a lot of problems incorporating play into the bedroom with a partner, but I never really considered it when I was solo sessioning.
Day 11- woke up too early spent the time playing- stretching, flexing and releasing all my muscles, feeling the sensation of my body heavy on the bed. I grazed my thighs, my stomach, and traced my vulva. Eventually got out a toy I don't use very often and played with it on my vulva, legs, perineum; teasing myself, trying not to rush myself anywhere.
In this experiment , I spent a lot of time focusing on feeling; noticing pressure, temperature, pulsing, expansion, tension, etc. I even sometimes try to give words to describe my experience and stay focused and present in my body. 6. I’m A Little Dependent On My Toys This was a tough one at the time. I still used them in the challenge, but not often and not in my ‘go to’ ways. Orgasm without a vibrator??!! That sounds like... work!
But shifting my view of masturbating to beyond orgasming and as dedicated time to exploring myself, my pleasure and my desires, allowed me to experience new pleasure I would have missed if I had only been focused on the prize. It’s like when you’re super focused on getting somewhere and you take the trusted, fastest route, you miss taking all the cool side roads that could allow you to see all kinds of new exciting things and perhaps even lead to new adventures.
But removing the expectation that I was going to be “perfect” was the best thing I could do . Giving myself permission to not do it 100% and to be okay if it didn’t go the way I wanted. To remind myself that I am still enough, even when I don’t ‘succeed’ in the ways I wanted to. This is helpful in masturbation, in sex, and in life in general. I remind myself that it’s okay if I don’t feel like going downtown on myself or like having sex, or am not into having a certain type of sex.
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