My priorities have shifted. I want to accept and embrace that
Sat across from my boss last month, he asked me a simple question; “What are your career goals now?”.
Six months ago, he’d called to confirm that I was being offered my dream job; a senior lecturer position at an arts university, on a part-time basis so I could still write alongside. I thought I might be having trouble coming up with goals because I’d reached the top of my; ruminating above this role had never been possible before – those rungs had always been so far up in the clouds they’d been obscured from view. But as the weeks passed, I realised it wasn’t that at all.
“I know that a lot of people are excited about and look forward to retiring, and I really wish I felt that way,”at the time. “Believe me, I never wanted to have to choose between tennis and a family. I don’t think it’s fair. If I were a guy, I wouldn’t be writing this because I’d be out there playing and winning while my wife was doing the physical labour of expanding our family.”
I’ve gradually realised that I couldn’t answer my boss because over the last two years, since having my daughter, what I want from my life has changed. I still want all of the above, but I want more now too. When I look towards my future, I fantasise about picking her up from school on a Friday and taking her for a hot chocolate at the local bookshop. If my book is on their bestseller table, fantastic, but if it isn’t, that’s okay too.
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