Experts share their advice for parents who want to raise altruistic, empathetic children.
“Debrief ‘big feelings’ so that they can remember what it feels like to be stretched and stressed,” advised Malik. “Talking about the feelings can sometimes help them to identify those moments in other people.”As kids develop emotional intelligence, they become better at putting themselves in others’ shoes and understanding other experiences and perspectives. Parents can promote this skill through meaningful conversations.
“For preschool-aged and kindergarten-aged children, the concept of being separate from others is just developing and the emphasis could simply be sharing and being fair,” said neuropsychologist and author. “Conversations around simple daily life ― like taking a lot from a bowl of food at the dinner table when there are three more people who might want it ― can go a long way into developing awareness of other people’s needs and wants without giving everything up that the child wants.
“After you’re done reading the book or watching the show, talk about it with your children,” she said, “You never really know how much a child understands until you ask them questions ― so, ask!”Practicing gratitude has endless emotional benefits and can also be key to developing a sense of empathy and altruism. When kids appreciate and feel grateful for all they have, they may feel more inclined to support those who are less fortunate.
When you expose kids to the diversity of the world, follow up these experiences with discussions of what they learned and how they felt. Help them get comfortable pushing their boundaries and understanding their place in the big, multifaceted world around them.“When you’re helping a child build empathy, you’re also helping a child build problem-solving skills,” said Yip.
“Parents can start by reinforcing at an early age that sharing is a positive behavior by rewarding sharing and also by acknowledging it might be hard to share when kids really want to keep something all to themselves,” Serin said. “They can emphasize in preschool children that letting a friend use a swing they wanted was very kind and have the child notice how happy the friend looks using the swing.
“Teaching children how to take turns, how to give and take, how to be considerate of other people and care about others’ feelings all has to do with empathy.”A good way to put altruism lessons to action is to engage in volunteer work as a family.
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